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Monday, January 29, 2007 10:57:00 PM

crap. i blogged yesterday. didnt get saved or published. thought it would at least be saved. now it's all gone. crap.

p.s. i miss weilun and i have this sense of emptiness and disappointment.

*
Sunday, January 21, 2007 2:52:00 PM

yays. serene is a happy girl! done her work for human geog assignment due at 9am tomorrow! it's all up to sam to do the finishing touch now. yays! she finished studying for maths test and the vjc gp prelims too. she's only left with econs essay and chinese test to study for. it's a productive weekend. the last time she was so productive was when she did her integration tutorial, which was like 2 weeks ago. wow. let's get into the mugging momentum man.

anyways, i want to introduce a new friend of mine to you. she's called, my new-found friend. haha. or better known as my loser friend. haha. loser! haha. loser and i share quite a bit in common. like the people we can't stand, the attitude towards stuff and even our characters of being losers and loners. haha. say hello to my loser friend! she wants to work in borders and wants me to work in kino, cos i am apparently effectively bilingual (and that doesn't mean i can spell!), and we share meet for lunch at orchard mrt cos it's the middle point. haha. see, what a loser. haha. and my loser friend has suceeded in tempting me to buy an ipod, with her mr piddles. evil right. now i am trying hard to save for my ipod and my aim is to get it by 1st april, and this is not a joke! haha. lame.

met nexie twice! or should thrice. last sunday, last friday and yesterday. supposed to do work but we really cannot study together. haha. we tend to distract each other and of cos, thanks to zunnie and zhezhe too. ah yes, and the songs in her ipod, xavier i think. haha. but it was great spending time with her. thanks babe! and yes, refer to her blog on the major discovery we had on our lives.
p.s. it's regarding a particular boyband that we have no wish to associate ourselves with anymore. haha.

and! thanks to the miao miao high boys for looking after our stuff in the library when we went for dinner. thanks boys. we didn't ask you guys to help us but you did. such nice kids. thank you thank you! hope you guys will do well for o's even though it's only jan. so stop mugging so hard! hahaa.

what else? hmm. okays. i am a mad fan. obsessed with my hana people. especially baobei, zhezhe and zunnie. haha. zhezhe is so cute can! like woohoo! oh. and i look good when dressed like him. haha. okays. random. haha. it's sunday today! yays. i can see all my lovies later! woohoo!

what else? hmm. it's 6 more days to the s.h.e. concert! yays!

okays okays. off to my lovies! bye bye people!
(:

*
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 4:32:00 PM

i read too much into it didnt i?

it's been a year.

a year.

i couldn't stop thinking of what happened this time last year.

happiness. happiness.

now. all that's left is none.

i should stop thinking.

stop wondering.

stop getting all worked up over you.

damn.

*
Monday, January 15, 2007 10:21:00 PM

i don't know anymore.

i don't want to know.

you better not let me find out the truth.

i might just break down.

breakdown again.

and again.

and again.

damn.

feeling like crap now.

feeling used now.

feeling being played now.

feeling.

feeling.

feeling, nothing.

*
Sunday, January 14, 2007 1:32:00 AM

突然间,我世界被打乱。似乎我应该高兴但我却,没有那个勇气去享这一切,因为担心,因为害怕,因为不想再失去你。好不容易的把你的一切慢慢的不去想起,一直催眠自己不可以因为你的一点一滴而轻易的受到影响。

今天我又想起你,而你也很巧的在这一天告诉我你想我。是天意吗?是一种缘分的指示吗?

这正是所谓的爱的深,伤的痛吧。与其说是你伤我,更应该说是自己想的太多,把自己伤的更痛。

当初要不是我那么看不开,想的那么死板,可能也不会有这么一天。我知道你会来这个部落格,在这再次的跟你说声对不起。我的自私让你也受了不少的伤害,让你痛苦了。至今,你也不知道到底是发生了什么事而我却一直没把事情的来龙去脉告诉你,就想要你原谅我。我真的是浑蛋。

对不起,但也要谢谢你一直的没把我从你的脑海里忘记。

我还是不知道应该如何继续这段感情,或者这段感情会有什么不测改变。就让我在此再次跟你说声,"i loved you. i love you. and will always love you. no matter what happens, you'll maintain a place in my heart, in that little hidden secret corner, and i will keep on missing you. this is my truest shoutout to you. sorry for being such a coward, not having the courage to approach you but i know you are doing fine, with people around supporting you, loving you. i might be jealous of them at times but i am really glad for their presence too. they have taken over my position to accompany you, love you, protect you. all these might be my own assumption but i am really happy to know that you are okay, you are happy, you are blessed, you are loved. it's enough. enough to keep me going, continuing my journey of life. babe, i really love you. hope you will love me long enough too. thanks for all the times, for everything. love you."

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1:19:00 AM

专属天使 - Tank
我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽
而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌
厚厚的温暖
你总能平复
我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想
透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌
大大的力量
我一定也会像你
一样飞翔
你想去的地方
就是我的方向
有我保护
笑容尽管灿烂

要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
oh绝望的以为
生命只有黑夜

你是我的天使吗?还是我想成为你的天使?我已经失去了知觉,可能也失去了自己。
心中不断的挣扎着,一直挣扎着。空荡荡的心,空荡荡的思绪,空荡荡的我。

*
1:04:00 AM

you are making my heart beat really fast now. it's so sudden, so shocking, yet sweet. it's like a surprise that started as a shock. hmm. that sounds weird aye? basically, i don't know if i should be elated or not. i am in a dilemma. what you sent me really struck me hard. in which way, i still can't really figure out.

聪明的人是不会挂念人,而是自己被挂念。偏偏我是个笨的人,没让自己被你挂念,反而一直挂念你。但我却笨的很开心。希望你偶尔也笨一下,有时想想我。。。。。

now, i am really lost. lost. lost. should i continue with this relationship the way it used to be until whatever incident happened or let it be. just let it be.

i don't have the courage to do anything, anything at all, before you texted me. now that i have replied that i do miss you, what should i do? what can i do? lost. feeling lost.

我真的不知道该怎么办。真的不知道。谁能帮帮我,帮我解决这个难题。

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Sunday, January 07, 2007 11:34:00 PM

okiedokes. back. gonna talk about my 2007 today. like finally. hahaa.

01 jan.
went to ikea. man, singaporeans are pathetic. seems like half of singapore's there on this very day, very time. so technically speaking, i'm a pathetic singaporean too. urgh. but i was there cos my parents have this chalet at night so it's on the way hence the dropping by. went to white sands after that. bought a doraemon pen, a nightmare handphone thingy and one piece! couldn't find the wei wei an book though. ): chalet! kinda bad at first cos it's my dad's ex-colleague's daughter's one year birthday bash. like so weird aye. but later on more of his colleagues came so the mood wasn't so weird anymore. yeah.

02 jan.
did my specs. went to grams and had curry! yays. saw ashleigh too. (: oh. and watched hana 7 again before going to bed. haha. cant get school started without my lovies. ((:

03 jan.
and it's start of school! not bad. but time table sucks. can you believe the amount of breaks i have? it's scary. i think if i were ever to add up my breaks, it might just exceed the number of hours my lessons occupy. dang. but it was pretty much okay. went to take a look at mass dance for orientation. boring. so doong and i went for a movie at vivo! yays. the experience wasn't fantastic though. we were in the second row from the front in a eight rows threatre and the fact we bought tickets 5 mins before the show starts meant rushing! haha. but deathnote 2 was good. way better than the first. and i applaud the scriptwriter for the great plot. well done! and the doggie shop sells such cute things and the doggies in the safari are so cute! didn't expect myself to say such things man. haha. ((:

04 jan.
my long break day! 6 hours actually, non-stop. nearly died during chapel cos too tired. played too much the night before thinking i can rest during this 6 hours. haha. did geog for 1+ hours before meeting the class for food then joining choo for mass dance again. haha. this time was fun! a lot more retainees came and they are real funny. haha. especially justin. haha. and there's this sji who did chori chori in a new way. haha. we laughed non-stop and took a video of it man. one of the jokers even went up to him and danced with him. haha. funny. in the second session of mass dance was another guy who's wearing a shirt that's really tight-fitting and pants that looks like it'll split anytime. when he dances, his butt will like move in a funny way. that's our entertainment for the next hour. haha. did geog again after leaving them to the principal talk. (:

05 jan.
not a bad day. school was okay. had cca. fun! haha. i'm loving greenie more and more. but now we have a disgusting name. eeyer. but ever since polka dots, i have not enjoyed a cca so much! ((: selling myself to greenie for slavery man. haha.

06 jan.
slacked. haha.

07 jan.
prata with nex. played and tokyo julieted at her place. vivo with og 7 after like a year. lyly's going to australia lah. great day even though only monica, florencia, shioks, lyly, windri, linda, kenneth, vickland and i went. had fun! love these people man. and i'm listening to 家後, the version ella sang. damn nice. damn sad. love it. my nose is going to drip soon. okays. off to enjoy!
(:

*
Thursday, January 04, 2007 1:15:00 AM

in the process of transferring my stuff from the other blog back to here now so the archives is kinda empty. (:

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Monday, January 01, 2007 2:14:00 AM

hmm. i wanted to blog about something down but after looking at ah hua, i can't help but cheer up. the only thing i want to say now is i am not alone. there is someone feeling the same way as i do. guess this happens to everyone at some point in time. i'll support you quietly. jiayou. (:

anyways, watching mtv chinese awards again for like the ten thousandth time. haha. w-inds now and i still get real high whenever they sing boogie woogie 66. haha. i am just someone who really knows how to zi high. haha.

okays. shall go back to my onlyella and mtv. cya people. i hope you are enjoying twenty oh seven fine. cos i am enjoying mine all till now. all 2 hours and 34mins of it.
(:


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1:32:00 AM

first post of twenty oh seven.

i must say one thing. bus trips are really thought provoking. mrt trips too.

on the mrt today, i had flashbacks of my polka dots life. first, it was the agreement i had with ning to retire in koichi's hometown when we grow old. not sure if it's still on even though i really liked the idea of it. but it has to depends on my financial and marital status i guess. then i recalled the times when kiran and i decided that we should earn our first million by 25 before going on a world tour together.my future all of a sudden. haha.

okay okays. i'm going back to my showbiz and hana. i love ah hua and bawan!!!!!

((:




Reality

born serene oh but not old.
nicknamed the old one now.
i stress, i am not old.
i would prefer to be called, mature.

It's not a dream if it came true,
but we exist to dream.
Make a wish,
I'm your faithful genie that doesn't have much patience :)

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