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Thursday, April 01, 2004 6:31:00 PM
sick
i don't know what to do. i don't know what to say. i am getting sick of everything. everything. had a talk with tcher just now and it's so duh that she is pin pointing me. just because she doesn't like me. and she goes on and on and on about how much i show favouritism and how how i like the girls. look here! i am just friendly ya. just because i am nice to them during work hours doesn't mean anything. doesn't mean i am the closest to them, causing them to be so big headed. in case you are wondering, there is actually someone else in the group that is closest to them. they talk to her more after work hours than to me! but because during work she is all serious and i am all fun and play and they are with me during work, because of the committee, doesn't mean i am close and side with them. and i always know that you guys and tcher don't like me. but you don't have to make it so obvious right? though it's my fault that our talk didn't go through but it is also not entirely my fault kz. can't help it if tcher sides with her so much and pushes all the blame to me right?! fine! go on! continue to dislike me. i don't care. i will just take all the time i spent with you guys as a memory. from now on, we are quits! ever since don't know when, you guys can't stand me. i know. but we need to work together. finally everything's over! you can get rid of me finally! aren't you happy?! to believe i put so much feelings into the relationship, i spent 12/7 with you guys. in case you are wondering, 12/7 is the half of 24/7. and after we went through so much, if you still can't change your opinion of me, can't change the fact that you don't like me, fine with me. but please don't make it so obvious ya. it will hurt the feelings of others. but then again, i don't expect much from you guys, so only little damage is done.
i have alot of friends, i admit. but alot of them are hi-bye friends. now even those that i spent half my time with are doing this to me, i wonder what will happen to the others. you guys are just so hypocritical. worse than me, and i though i'm the worse. is there like no one i can call friend left anymore? even my close friend is getting so close to them. what can i do? i'll quote the chorus of a song for you guys ya. seems to speak from my heart.
i just wanna live!
i just wanna breathe!
to begin,
to be free,
and to love,
once again.
to cry...
i just wanna live!
i just wanna breathe!
let the song of life begin!
i just wanna live...
by martin tang, a singaporean musician. titled, if i'm not wrong, i just wanna live. i'm free now. free from everything, except studies. just wanna say one last goodbye.
bye
